lil-bee: the randomizer

Eid Mubarak :D
Wednesday, August 31, 2011 | 12:00 am | Comment ⇢

Hope you have an amaaaaaazing Eid inshAllah .. regardless of WHEN you think Eid is :P

But while we wear new clothes, eat special Eid food and feel awkward about eating during the way .. lets try and remember those less fortunate than us, try and help each other out, be grateful to Allah and do dua for the ummah (not just our Muslim brothers and sisters, but the entire mankind .. we are after all children of Adam, regardless of our religion, race & sexualities). And lets try and keep up the goodness we have achieved in Ramadan (inshAllah) and try to improve ourselves despite Shaiytaan being released back into the wild (I'm SO scared about that btw!).

Anyhoo .. now that thats outta the way, lets EID .. erm, eat. <- real typo. Lols.

What have / are YOU doing for Eid?

Right now I'm probably stuffing my face back in the homeland :D Eid in a Muslim majority country is really something else, a proper experience :D

Or I might still be on the plane, depending on when Eid is haha :D

Much love xxx

[This is a scheduled post].

Random Tidbit #3
Monday, August 29, 2011 | 4:16 pm | Comment ⇢
Disclaimer: Contains bits about lady businesses .. you have been warned.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was still a little girl with clean underpants. Little girl was all alone without blood (siblings) and recently moved to a place with a hush gush culture. Hush because that was what some things, such as anything relating to IT, induced, and gush because that was what other things, like whose daughter did what and with whom, induced. Either way, little girl was all alone and void of knowledge about certain things such as IT.

The little girl was a little weak and often endured headaches and stomach aches. After a long day of trekking in the dessert heat and getting drenched in despair (also known as air tears i.e humidity), she once again came home clutching at her head and stomach.

She remembers jumping into the cool paradise that was her shower, and she remembers sitting under the fan on her mother's bed, the somewhat bearable air creating a cool sensation on her wet hair and face. It was a glorious feeling, her entire head drenched wet, the coolness fighting against the heat radiating from her headache. The fight amused her, and the few times the cool won, it appeased and calmed her but the heat ache was persistent and so she grabbed some Asian Vicks and rubbed it on her forehead and temples. Cool menthol. Always wins.

The feeling was short lived however, as her mother stomped into the room and quickly turned the fan off, screaming at the little girl and asking her if she wanted to get pneumonia again. Typical lecture, typicaaaal. But than it flipped, and took a turn that haunted every path little girl took in awareness and in her dreams. Her mother seriously sat her down and talked about birds and bees. Well, not quite birds AND bees. But just birds - verrry briefly about birds, that left little girl more in the dark than in the light.

Little girl got scared. Very scared. Scared and confused. She did not want to pee blood. And so she stopped peeing all together. And while she learned many variations of the jumpupanddowntostopurgetopee dance, her mother would simply not allow it, and she explained away the bit about the birds, telling her not to worry about it and so it left the little girl's paths and she was peeing happily ever after.

Till The Day. The Day came quite a few years away at a time when little girl was all alone with her Pokemon while the parental unit were MIA. Well, little girl's mother was away from the city on a consultancy trip while her father was at work doing what people at work do.

Little girl was happily minding her business when she went to relief herself and found drops of diluted blood on the toilet seat. They had one of those cool toilet seats, something eerily similar to this, and in a panic, little girl consoled herself that it was an optical illusion, quickly did her wudu and go on the prayer mat, huffing and puffing and crying to Allah to not make her pee blood.

Ah so much panic, so little understanding. After many hysterical calls to a very amused mother with a sadistic sense of humour, she was finally attended to and instructed about what to do and what not; about 4 or so hours since The Day started.

Little girl had had enough Red Sea adventures and she never wanted a repeat performance. But eh, if only we got what we wanted, or didn't get what we didn't want. Life would be tres simple for little girl, but unfortunately this was not so.

Few cycles after The Day, little girl was nonchalantly chatting away with her good friend during the two hour long games lesson. Now a little bit of background to little girl's school: uniform, frenemies and the lesson in question. Little girl went to an International School when she moved was ambushed into the Third World because it had followed the same curriculum as her school back in The States.
As the case with all fresh meat, little girl was targeted due to her linguistic disability in Bengali awesomeness which the Third World Hounds (henceforth TWH) misconstrued as show off arrogance, causing many issues between them and little girl (more on this on later instalments of lil-bee's RT#s .. maybe). Thankfully they went their separate ways during lessons, except for this particular games lesson, which had to be merged with all the sections due to some administrative laziness error.
The usual case was such that the boys left the main campus to go to their sports fields while the girls played on the on site sports field inside the campus. But this particular day, the boys stayed in campus and took over the sport facilities while the girls sat around gossiping in their usual school uniform (you really need this visual right here, sorry about the shit edit attempt at hiding their faces lol) instead of the sports wear. Yup .. bright white.

Fast forward to little girl nonchalantly chatting away to her friend for two hours with the other girls sitting around them and the boys playing on the field. When the lesson was finally over, little girl went to get up when she was sharply pulled back down by her friend. She exclaimed that there was a gigantic red blood mark on the back of little girl's bright white uniform and so obviously she couldn't get up while the TWHs were mucking about .. especially since it involved the HUSH HUSH red stain of doom :O Some other girls spoke up in concern and urged little girl to stay put till TWHs' departure. While little girl started hyperventilating and imagining the massive black hole opening up on her back, the TWHs, being Hounds, sniffed that something was up and refused to leave, circling the girls instead.

Little girl doesn't quite remember how long she was sat there, but she knows for sure that it was a good amount of time. Eventually however, one of the female PE teachers decided to see what the crowd gathering was about and upon finding out the root cause of the situation, she came up with a plan. She made the girls (a good 12 or so of them) form a circle of barrier around little girl and her trusted friend to restrict the view of the shameless TWHs who were still encircling them, trying to get in a peek or two. After this protection was formed, little girl stood up and with the help of her trusted friend, wore her backpack reaaaaally low and sort of slouch walked like a gangster to the nearest girl's toilets .. while her entourage of protection moved along with her for a while.

The walk of shame took around 10 minutes, instead of the 3 it should have taken, because little girl was sliding along like a snail to avoid exposure. When she finally arrived at safe havens, it turned out that the mahussive black hole disaster everyone exclaimed at wasn't even THAT big. Okay, okay, it was still pretty big, and little girl was wearing bright white. In the end, she was persuaded to wash off her marks, which she cleverly proceeded to do by rinsing out her entire two piece uniform while she stood in her undershorts and undervest while her trusted friend went to get a school maid.

This story concludes with helpers coming in and finding little girl stark naked (pretty much) with her uniform drenched in the water filled sink in front of her, desperately trying to get rid of her black hole of doom using hand wash. This of course was less useful (completely utterly useless) than she had envisioned and she got lectured by the helper who finally agreed to try and dry little girl's now ruined uniform. Cloth-less, she had to spend the whole school day in the toilet, missing her favourite school lunch and getting a reputation (and a somewhat respect) from the TWHs as the new class rebel / truant.

The End.

[This is a scheduled post].

lil-bee's RR :)
| 7:00 am | Comment ⇢
I know its almost over, but I thought I'd share my Ramadan Routine and ask you what yours is :)

So basically the moon got sighted and the first fast is tomorrow (after Taraweeh tonight) .. so what do we do?

Well after praying and all obviously, me and my boy cousins stay up till Suhoor which is till around 4:20ish now and than we pray. We find it easier to stay up than go to sleep and wake up again, and also you can't eat much after just waking up so ..

I've had this messed up sleeping pattern for AGES now though. It started after I came back from America, partly because of jetlag, and someone something else and so I'd be up till like 6 am most nights and go to sleep till like the afternoon. This got worse during exam time when I'd do all nighters and be up for 51 hours at a time max (back to back exams) .. bad times. Anyway, its something thats still with me and now a days I'm up till like 8 am (though this extended to 12 pm when I first discovered The Sims and a state of no sleep the day before my flight) and then I wake up in the afternoon for Zuhr.

This system is proper messing up my skin. Well I think its the sleeping .. and lack of water. Cos my once perfect (mashAllah) skin is now resembling a connect the dot board game. :( seriously, before I'd get like 1 or 2 spots every other month, and now I've got like literally 81 spots on my face (marks) with like 7 or 8 active spots. Ugh, annoying :(

Anyhow, so what is / was your RR? Let me know :)

[This is a scheduled post].

Do you spit or swallow
| 7:00 am | Comment ⇢
Your saliva when fasting? What were YOU thinking, you pervert?!?!

I used to think that you weren't allowed to swallow .. which made MY life really difficult and a bit gross cos I'd be walking around spitting like I'm chewing paan :/

But than I read, and apparently you are okay to swallow without it affecting your fast so yay :) but obviously, don't like collect all your saliva into a big gulp you can swallow .. cos thats like cheating init?

[This is a scheduled post].

Hello, Hi, Bye Bye
Sunday, August 28, 2011 | 7:00 am | Comment ⇢
So. This is goodbye.

I'm going to Bangladesh. So it was nice knowing ya'll.

Seriously, its been great writing to people who don't know me at all .. and are more responsive than my real life follower friends :P though to their credit, whenever they have something to say, they do just call me or drop me some texts so .. meh.

Anyhow .. so Eid soon YAY. Wish you guys all the best and may you have the happiest Eid ever inshAllah :)

Kind of sad that Ramadan is over .. but all good things must come to an end. Seems appropriate that I'm leaving after Ramadan too.

But its all good .. I'm excited about all the food that I'm going to eat in Bangladesh YIPPIE :D if you somehow missed the epic street food post, you can read it here.

Till than, peace and love x

Oh PS - I'm back end of September inshAllah :P so see you then! Expect lots of rantastic posts on how many proposals I got (lols) and how many aunties exclaimed at my weight as if I've somehow missed noticing that I've gained some :/ hopefully I can woohsah and take everything as a joke, instead of getting pissed off. Oh, I'm also a bit worried about the killer roaches in Bangladesh :O they keep getting HUGE and they can fly! Gross :/// and apparently, they've slowly become immune to insect spray .. juice grett (just great in Scottish) .. sacre bleu! I'm hoping to spend most of the time in my room, reading all these classics (and therefore FINALLY getting through some of my resolutions at least; ignore the claims of me 'falling' for boy o.O) that I got for my notebook from Gutenberg :D as much as I love the smell of new books, e-books really are the future and so much more convenient than carrying a heap of books! Gutenberg is FREE and available for Android (phones and tablets), Apple iPhone/Pad and e-readers (Kindle, Nook, Kobo .. pretty much all I reckon, they have a range of formats for the books); more info here. You can also read them with ease on your Linux, Macs and Windows using Calibre, an e-reader / manager that EVERYONE needs. Happy reading :D

PPS - sorry about the HUGE PS message .. it was intentional I assure you, but sorry none the less.

Pray for me! Salut x

Memory Lane
Saturday, August 27, 2011 | 7:41 am | Comment ⇢

Facebook has a point after all .. THE SIMS!!!

Too many memories. Good times :D waste of time, but good times none the less :D

FYI, I have ALL the expansion packs of the first Sims :) still got em somewhere here .. but I REFUSE to touch Windows computers so haven't played in ages :(

I did get Sims 2 .. for my Mac. I think. Or maybe I got it for my Windows computer. Either way it was legit, and expensive. Than my cousin broke it. TWIT!!!

But .. now .. I can play Sims .. on my FB :D

Oh gosh .. this is SO gonna affect my I'mGonnaStudySuperHardInMyFinalYear plan -.- and also my pact to deactivate FB again.


Its the bloody Sims!!!

Also, if you aren't getting super hyper happy excited with the urge to pee with this news than you = fail.


Yarrr .. I'm super excited if you couldn't tell.


Ohhhh but its The SIMS!

*slaps self*

I'm giddy with joy. I'm pissing all over memory lane in happy pee.

Okay, I'm totally weird, but STILL awesome. I mean what the earth (this is my new thing, I think its very clever. If you don't get it you=fail. That is also my new thing. Well its not really new, but its now my thing, and its new for me ish, so therefore it is also my new thing), if I'm so awesome and high in demand despite the weirdness, it must be all good in the hood.

I love you all. But most importantly I LOVE THE SIMS!!!

OMG. Okay, I think I have should go to sleep now. Hopefully when I wake up tomorrow, all groggy due to lack of food / drinks, I'll forget about THE SIMS and be able to do the tasks I NEED to do in my To Do List.



OMG. I'm so excited, I think my suhoor food might rise up to my throat.

Okay. Woohsah, woohsah.


Okay, I'm actually this super excited irl as I write this. Why am I writing instead of playing you ask? Well .. my energy bar is kinda .. at 0. So I have to wait for it to fill so I can do more tasks and earn levels :D :D





Zen Disruption
Wednesday, August 24, 2011 | 2:37 am | Comment ⇢
Can I just say, I really really really hate Facebook. I mean, I've been very much in my zen zone, loving everyone and being generally good quality in the Ramadan check list .. but seriously .. every single time I'm on FB, I see something that just pisses me off.

This is exactly why I keep my FB deactivated like 9/12 .. slowly trying to increase it to 10 months and than 11 months. I'd deactivate it again, but I've got this event thing and I don't want it to show up as cancelled. Ugh, frustrations!


PS - people suck. FB is an inanimate site and therefore its suckness can only be measured by the PEOPLE who use it and in conclusion, because FB sucks so much, and this can only happen because people suck so much, people = suckers.

Yeah I know.
Monday, August 22, 2011 | 4:54 am | Comment ⇢
OMG, yeah as you may have heard, I have like a 100 draft posts I need to type up and publish .. but I just haven't been able to get around to doing it. Might publish one verrry soon, its an important thing I needed to get out there ... so sorry for the wait, but we'll get to it soon :D

Till than, some random ramblings :D

My friend showed me a picture of her freshly single, very nice brother. And at first I was like woah, he's HOT! Than I saw a picture of him without his sexy aviators on and errr .. awkward silence precedes. Why does that happen? Has it happened to you? Anyway, all this just leaves me wondering about what this guy looks like without glasses. Cos he's pretty darn yummy with them :D (yeah I was looking for something randomly and he came up and I was like HELLO, how you doin???) .. also, I know we're supposed to lower our gazes (and I swear I'm trying suuuper hard) .. but does this apply to people on our screens (TV, movie, advert, etc) who we won't ever know in real life (and therefore there won't be any haram leading to more haram) who can't see us gazing at them, and so therefore there is no invite for them to be gazing at us?

I digress!

Anyway, I'm a bit special in the head I reckon. Just a bit ... well enough to have someone write a BOOK about me!!! :D

Hope ya'll are good and tings :)

Somechos Lurve :P

Ze lil-bee :) x

UPDATE: Since we're talking about perving, I like to spend my free time checking out the beautiful guys modelling for ASOS men. Ah yummy :D And since we're talking about ASOS, this is my fave shop in the whole wide world :D I LOVE ASOS. Like for real. Anyway, I recently got some more discount codes for them, so I went and got some more useless stuff :O BUT .. I've got a pact with myself that I'll donate each time I shop .. so its not all bad yeah? :)
Which reminds me .. I know we're broke students who don't have money to donate (really?) but there's one thing us students (and loads of other people) do very VERY well. Which is .. plonking about on the world wide web! I recently found this search website which basically donates to your chosen charity and all you gotta do is .. SEARCH. You can also link your online shopping and they have apps to help increase what you give. Its as simple as & FREE! I'm not getting ANYTHING out of it, so I'm only promoting it because its brilliantly simple, and depending on your net addiction, could really make a difference :) I'm a huge Google Geek, but I'm actively trying to use this website as my homepage for all my searches and what not.

Please check out EveryClick here: and lets do what we can for humanity :)

This wasn't in my plans ..
Thursday, August 18, 2011 | 11:34 pm | Comment ⇢
Okay so I occasionally get topic diarrhea where I get ideas about all these things I want to talk blog about and end up publishing like 10 posts in a day where some of my more profound thoughts get ignored under fresh dump.

LOL yeah I have a problem .. I like using shit (no literally, not shit as in bad) analogies *grin grin grin*.

Anyhow so I started saving my posts in draft mode (I've literally got like a 100 posts waiting to be published muhahaha) with each new thing I want to blog about being saved as draft for later perusal.

But something happened which I must share and so here I am, posting without my guidelines ... because I just have to talk about it somewhere.

Some of you might remember my "friend", whore girl and other guy I was talking about a while back. Well, since I've started surrounding myself with better human beings who make my life experience better / more moral ... I gave those three a very big (and halal) fudge you and went on my way. I left it, and didn't even talk about it much .. because I am eating from the front haha ;) but something happened which spelled the end of this saga (for me anyway) and so I thought I'd share (without over sharing hopefully).

Lets start off with "friend" .. I didn't like his intentions from the start but than (and this was back when I was friends with him / just beginning my moral human being journey) he basically admitted (quite proudly might I add) some things to me which basically not only reinforced what I thought about him, but made me see just how sick and low he really is. So after that I very firmly and to the point told him to just leave me alone (and by this point I was so disgusted and pissed off that I didn't even feel the guilt he usually tries to dump on me) and that was that.

I backed off the other guy because I was disappointed by what he did, and than I realized he wasn't my friend to begin with (HELLO, bros before hoes?!) .. so it upset me but I wished him the best and went on my way. As for whore girl? I felt sorry for her because clearly she had some issues which made her play out against me, others .. but mostly herself so bleh.

End of the saga? They 'broke up' .. after lasting like 2 seconds (a few weeks). Really, I know I shouldn't but ... HAHAHAHAHAHA. And a big flipping HA. Did I mention? Hahahahahaha.

Other guy found out that everyone was right and she was wrong .. seriously, 'love' makes you blind, and also stupid / unable to make judgements using logic, morals and self values. Twits.

Other guy has been looking for me apparently (to apologize and to beg for my friendship presumably .. pfft) but what is lost cannot be found. Despite everything, I've been decent to him but that was for the sake of humanity and memories of our past friendship. He should have known right from wrong (initial blunder I can forget, but he continued to not know me even after the first piss up) and I'll be a fool to let him back into my life after all the shit he said and did.

I still do wish him the best for his life, but I won't be there to get splashed by the mud while he drives on dirty, dodgy roads.

On a final note. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Shame in their face. SHAME.


TAG! You're it! :)
Tuesday, August 16, 2011 | 12:20 am | Comment ⇢
My dudette CFJ tagged me, check her out, she's funny :D

So without much further ado .. here it goes ... [don't worry, I won't do this kind of thing a lot, but since I don't really have an about me I thought I might as well this one time xD]

– Available: For what? What are the hours like? How about the pay? Cos .. well I do need a job :P

– Age: Err .. can we not answer this? Cos I'm kinda old. Though its pretty easy to figure out how old I am from my blog .. you just gotta look :P but its not worth it haha

– Animals: Have it kinda easy. Humans are kinda sucky no? If I was an animal, I'd so be a cat. Or a lion, cos I'm a Leo ;) I'd probably be a Savannah cat .. best of both? Its cos I have a weird biting obsession (RIP the battery cover of our Sky remote o.o) and I looooove stretching whenever I lie down. But hey, I'm not an animal so oh well. I'd love to be a bird though, so I could fly hiiigh :D except I'm scared of heights so Idk how that would work out :/ anyway, I'll end on the note that I'm scared of almost ALL animals .. except perhaps horses, so I guess I choose horse! I love horses, I think they are amazing and so intelligent :) plus I swear Duldul was kick ass :D

– Beer: I prefer ginger ale to ginger beer to be honest. I've had root beer but it was kinda bleh. Apparently they have alcohol free beer :/ whats the point? Most of my friends say beer tastes gross anyway o.O

– Best friends: Are mostly great :) but sometimes they can be so frustrating!

– Body part on opposite sex: Can I get back to you on that after Ramadan? lolol ;)

– Best feeling in the world: Being kind to strangers / witnessing it in other people :) seriously, this one makes me smile so much .. when strangers show kindness / niceness towards others for no reason except to be nice :) or when I'm sitting on the tube and someone less able to stand comes, and I'm like do you want to sit, and they mostly get all oh gosh thank you so much and you're like aww :D people need to be more kind .. its the little things you know :) except when I ask them if they want to sit, I think I sound a bit aggressive + morning croaky voice so it must be a scary ordeal where they think they HAVE to accept my kindness out of fear haha

– Best weather: I get head aches under the sun and I've never really liked the heat :( I just don't like being all hot and sweaty .. feel me? Gross haha .. but anyway my favorite weather would be sunny, but with a cool breeze :) a bit like Canada at the end of Autumn near Lake Ontario :)

– Been in love: I thought so but thankfully it turned out to be teenage stupidity and hormones :P

– Been on stage: Yup! I liked it more when I was skinnier / less self conscious .. yes even cocky miss bee gets all OMG I'm fat but anyhow, I remember the last time was at this award ceremony at Lords (I'm a G, yeah I know) where we won and got up on the stage and the host asked me a question and I tried to wrestle the mike from his hand, proper baffled about why he wasn't giving it to me .. than I looked up at him, saw the lights and camera and froze up. Can you spell EMBARRASSING?! No really .. cos I always mess up trying to spell it. Thank God for spelling correction :P

– Believe in magic: If RT#1 is anything to go by .. :P but on a level, yeah I think magic exists. It says so in the Quran about Harut and Marut so obviously I believe in it. Its pretty scary stuff :/

– Believe in Santa: Do I believe that people dress up as Santa and surprise kids? Hells yeah .. it happens. Of course he is real .. as for the legend .. err. Oh who cares, we never get Christmas presents anyway :P well I used to, but it stopped now :( but the food usually still happens .. mmm Yorkshire puddings and gravy xD

– Brand: There's something you should know .. I'm a HUGE Linux fanboi. I love it! So Linux (and Android since its pretty much the same base language) all the way .. followed by Macintosh, because they both follow Unix and also because I'm a bit of an aesthetic whore xD

– Candy: Is a song by Aaron Carter. Don't ask me how I know this! *whistles* I just remembered I can't whistle .. tried like hell but just couldn't do it. So never mind :O

– Colour: I'm a nice shade of brown :D well I think so, but I think its a weird off-white yellowish brown. Man, I love tans, I think they are beautiful :D my fave color would be that nice caramel brown that many mixed race White / Black people have :D

– Chocolate / vanilla: Chocolate all the way :D brown pride .. yeaaaaah. Lol, I kid, I kid. I just really like chocolate though soft ice cream is super nice :D what is that? Is it even vanilla? Or flavorless ice cream? Cornish Vanilla is really nice too :D mmm .. now I'm craving ice cream! Sheesh thanks :/

- Chinese/Indian/Italian: I'm Indian. Though sometimes when I'm smiling reaaaally hard I look Chinese :D

- Cake or pie: What kind of sick joke is this? Stop asking me about food during Ramadan you FOOL! And also .. why must I pick? Why can't I have both?? You sick sick sadist x(

– Cheese: OMG I've recently discovered dessert cheese and its brilliant :D like seriously, so nice with digestive biscuits :D

– Day or night: I was going to say how you can't have one without the other so how do you expect me to choose but than I remembered that some places in the world fall under the polar circle and they have periods where they have day without night, and vice versa .. but I've personally never experienced it so I can't choose :)

– Dancing in the rain: Brings back some great childhood memories :D

– Eyes: Or more specifically my eye make up is probably the most complimented physical part of me. It used to be my hair at some point but since I'm putting it away for the time being, I guess I'll stick with the eyes :) I must admit, I have some mad eye make up skills dawg :D

– Ever failed a class?: Um .. twice in my life. Once when I was in The Third World and my Bengali was super weak, I got a red mark (read: fail) at the end of year exams :/ the other time more recently in a unit at university .. by ONE mark. Pfft. I was really upset, but everything happens for a reason so .. plus my floppage was TOTALLY my fault. Because I didn't hand in any of my assignments this year, but still managed to pass overall Alhamdullilah!

– Enemies: Public enemy number 1 .. SATAN! Damn bastard, messing up my deen o.o

– Exercise: Something I need to get into major times .. and keep at it! Exercise is so good for you, it gives you stamina, makes you release all this feel happy hormones and makes you all nice and toned :D in my case, I NEED it to lose some major weight .. like seriously, I miss all my nice clothes and all my 31 (and counting) pairs of heels are harder to wear with all this body weight to support on a tiny surface area of the heel :/ I've even got a gym at home .. yallah, I'm such a lazy bum :O

– First thoughts waking up: Wow that was a weird dream! Omg I can't believe I overslept AGAIN. Oh wait, I must rub my eyes for Sunnah! Than I lie and pray Surah Fatiha / Ikhlaas and Durood / Ayat ul Kursi :) its a good practice Alhamdullilah. Than I think about all the food I'm gonna eat mmm / general random thoughts .. finally moving on to damn I should get up and go have some tea (or not if its Ramadan lol).

– Food: Is my Kryptonite? Seriously, I've got an unhealthy obsession with food :O

– Greatest fear: Not going to Jannat / facing the wrath of Allah on the Day of Judgement / being sent to Hell :'( seriously, this scares me so much, I actually start crying!

– Get along with your parents: Most of the time :P they annoy me sometimes but than I remember just how much they've done for me and how even a little uff would hurt them / piss them off and I try to apologise (cos saying sorry is almost as hard as saying I love you :O).

– Hair colour: Is something I've played around with a lot! I've had blue, pink, orange, yellow, 'blonde', black, purple, red, brown .. so many colours! My favourite colour would be Rihanna Red, maybe a shade darker, but that level of brightness! But my mum would beat me if I did that :P plus I don't think its very professional and since I'll graduate and move into the world of employment soon, I think I've gone past the age to do it :( unless I start wearing hijab and than I can go Ri Red :D

– Happy: Alhamdullilah :) I think happiness is a choice (to an extent) that everyone should be choosing :)

– Holiday: Yes please???

– Ice cream: There you go again, you sick beep. I swear if you don't stop with the food .. I SCREAM! lols sorry, lame joke .. but for reals. Stoppit!

– Jewellery: I think jewellery is a complete waste of money. Seriously, I can't stand it! I think there is a certain amount women should have, like a few sets to wear occasionally but any more is such a waste. Me personally, I only wear jewellery that I don't have to take off (my four ear rings, nose stud and Allahu necklace, all real gold cos I'm allergic and won't be able to wear artificial for too long .. which kinda defeats the point of jewellery I don't have to take off) and am not a big fan of imitation jewellery. My aunt on the other hand .. mashAllah she is blessed with a rich husband but she buys diamonds and rubies (thankfully she isn't crazy about Bentleys lol ;P) like pretty much every month. Are you flipping kidding me?! Do you know how many heels / bags (which I think have a purpose in life), and gadgets I could get with that money? OH MY DAYS. Kmt.

– Job: Should be more of an opportunity for us to enjoy our passions than a necessity. If thats the view we take, we won't be happy with our jobs! My dream job would be to work with IBM :D or Google (cos I'm such a huge fanboi) lolol.

– Kids: Are brilliant before they learn to speak :P though I guess with your own ones, you'd be more tolerant :) I love kids, I think they are amazing and so innocent, with the most beautiful of hearts :D I want 4 kids iA: 2 boys and 2 girls! I even know the order - girl, boy, girl, boy .. OR boy, girl, girl, boy :D

– Kick boxing or karate: I personally had a obsession with Mr Miyagi and most of the Karate Kids so I'd love to be able to do karate :D but I think in a dangerous situation, it might be more useful to know how to kick box someone to the floor :P

– Keep a journal?: Many times. It always started off with nice fountain pen handwriting, details and frequency .. but times were off, my writing became crap and the journal was on pause till the next time I got a new journal :D

– Love: Is so much more stronger than hate can / should ever be :)

– Laughed so hard you cried: Haha yeah :D I think there is an Asian superstition that you shouldn't laugh too much (tauba katoh i.e ask forgiveness / Astagfirullah) as than you'd be made to cry due to the balance of the universe? But I think they just got that off the physical reaction some people have when laughing too much :P

- Milk flavour: OMG when I was a little girl, and in The Third World, there was this ice cream man (lol oh my days, now even I'm talking about it gee thanks :P) with his little freezer on top of cycle business who would stand outside the school bus stop / pick up place and whenever my mum would come to pick me up I'd make her buy me this chocolate milk from milkvita and it was hands down THE best chocolate milk that I have ever had! I'm so sad because I think you can only find it in Bangladesh :(

– Movies: Have gone downhill in quality in recent years :( nothing original and just sex sex sex >.<

– Motion sickness: Should be the new anti-Blackberry slogan .. geddit? Research in motion .. motion sickness? LOL I kid I kid, Blackberries aren't TOO bad and at least there isn't the whole iPhone hype (excuse number 1: you aren't holding it right) .. losers o.O

– Number: Are not the same as letters.

– One wish: Is a song by Ray J?

– Perfect pizza: Would have lots of cheese, garlic, jalapeños (from Mexico, the ones in England aren't spicy at all!), mushrooms, onions, pineapple and lots of meat :D

– Pepsi/Coke: Coke hands down. Seriously .. glass bottled coke = best thing ever. Mmm I love GBC :D

– Perfume/Cologne: I know its haram, but I put on like sooo much perfume, I literally drench myself in it! Seriously, I start off with 2 sprays on the neck area, 3 under each arm / side ending with 1 spray each on my ears / behind ears. I've got a sensitive nose and I'm always worried of smelling weird :O My fave female perfumes .. man, I have too many perfumes, but one I always wear is Britney Spears Fantasy (I've got like 5 bottles stocked up) :D another fave is Crystal Noir by Versace but its so rare and expensive! And its got a special smell, like not everyone is gonna like it, but I love it :D I like Armani Code too :) and Harajuku Lovers have the cutest smelling perfumes and such kick ass bottles! :D there's one that smells like Pina Colada! Men's cologne smell amazing! Well that would make sense that they make it enticing to women :O I especially like Chanel's Allure and Attitude by Armani :) its got the sickest bottle as well! Sometimes I go to my cousin's room and steal his perfumes :D I usually get eau de toilette which is less concentrated, but I've got like eau de parfums and without realizing, I sprayed my usual 10 shots .. such a huge waste (cos EDP is usually more expensive) and you could smell me like 10 miles away :O it was a strong parfum too, Let it Rock by Westwood .. ah well.

– Quail: Is one skinny bird! I remember having it once and there was barely anything! I really liked quail egg though :) so small and cute!

– Reason to cry: Mostly hormones, which sucks because I'm NOT an emotional person, never have been .. till the hormones went all crazy .. so annoying -.- otherwise I sometimes cry when I'm really angry .. its some weird reaction my body has to calm me down :O

– Reality T.V: Jerseylicious and TOWIE :P I loooove it, despite disputes on their 'reality' aspect :P reem ;D

– Radio Station: Its mostly moving around from Kiss 100 to Choice FM with occasional Capital, Heart and XFM.

– Song: Pretty much everything by Muse and Linkin Park. Though I'm trying to cut down on songs .. hmmm .. do anasheed count? Muhammad Al Husayn has some awesome ones :D

– Shoe size: I'm a UK 5.5 which means all my trainers are UK 6 / 6.5 but all my heels HAVE to be UK 5 or they get too loose .. I have such weird feet. Feet are gross bleghh :( I've got some size 7 shoes as well though .. told you, I've got weird feet! OMG, your picturing it now aren't you? Gross .. you really are sick :O

– Salad dressing: Ahahahaha does it look sound like I'd have a favourite salad dressing??? I don't eat salad, I ain't a cow .. I don't like grass! That being said though, I've had some AMAZING dressing, two different kinds and they completely transformed grass (aka salad) and made it so nice! One was this mango dressing, so nice! The other one was a Japanese dressing, I think it was soy sauce, balsamic vinegar and some other stuff, it was sooo nice!

– Skinny dip: So all the gross sea creatures go up stuff? ALLOW IT. :///

– Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries when they are sweet :D but I looove blueberries! I love em both :)

– Sport: Football all the way. REAL football .. you know, the one where you actually play with a ball using your foot? And no its not called soccer. Americans are SO stupid I swear down .. how does that even make sense??? Gunners all the way :D yes I know .. we lost yet ANOTHER to Barcelona, but whatever .. I've always supported my local team and I will continue to do so! I'm not some glory hunting fan .. though a trophy (or both) would be nice!

- Sex: Is overhyped. Everywhere you go, its all sex sex sex. Like on the TV, they have sex scenes everywhere. Without reason .. like it doesn't even add to the story! Whats the point??? If I wanted to watch porn, I'd rent some. Can we please allow the public sexing everywhere? Seriously I've stopped watching stuff with my parents now .. its just too embarrassing. Pfft.

– Tattoos?: Always wanted one, but I'd never get one cos they are haram and I'm a pussy; scared of needles :P though black henna tattoos would be nice but I swear they are supposed to be really bad for you???

– Thunderstorms: Are so humbling .. its like, we think we're worth shit and Allah shows us our true worth with all these natural calamities :O but other than the fear and humbling factor, I love thunderstorms :D they are so cool, especially when its a dark and stormy night with hard rain ... obviously when I'm safely inside haha

– Unpredictable: British weather! Actually its pretty predictable .. its gonna be all over the place, with a bit of rain!

– Vacation spot(s): You're a bit of a sadist aren't you? Asking me about all these foods and jabbing at me with dreams of holidays while I'm stuck at home :O anyway, I love Thailand!!! Absolutely love the place and love the people :D Asians are some of the nicest people ever, such polite cultures .. and the Thai? Hands down, so nice and kind :D Just love them! But for relaxation, hands down I have such peace sitting next to Lake Ontario, Toronto, Canada :D

– Weakness: Bitching / judging and also being a pervert :( no joke, I'm working really hard on all these! Its easy not bitching to people, but the thoughts come to my head anyway and I've mentioned this before, I have this friend who always just thinks the best of people .. its amazing! I wish I could change my whole thought process and automatically think nice of people. Love people for the sake of Allah :) I'm working on it .. sloooowly getting there! As for the perversion, I went out today and firmly (for the most part) kept my gaze down! But its hard .. I always get these perverted thoughts that I try to halalify by thinking about mr-bee .. cos you know, everythings legit once you are married :P well .. almost everything but I'm really really not into the non-legit so its all good in the hood!

– Who makes you laugh the most: Me myself and I :P I find myself HIGH-larious! But seriously though, I have a weird and easy sense of humour. I find everything amusing and laugh waaay too much, but thats awesome :D keeps me easily entertained!

– Worst weather?: Heat. Can't stand it .. and its the worst when its super hot and dry, no wind or anything and your sitting there sweating it out like a loser. Or humid heat. All kinds of heat is blegh .. flares up my sinusitis and gives me the worst migraines I swear. I always used to get migraines and the worst heat strokes when I was living in The Third World. Gosh :( I went back to Bangladesh in the summer (we usually go when its winter) and as soon as I stepped out of the airport I literally thought I couldn't breathe cos of the humidity making the air so heavy. My mum told me to stop being melodramatic :O hello .. choking here???

– X-Rays: I'm slowly getting freaked out by you and these questions .. I've had quite a few x-rays .. but I'm not telling you where you pervert!

-Year it is now: Check your calendar! I'm not your beeyotch .. why you asking me?!

-Yellow: Something I'm planning on painting my room!

–Zoo animal: Eh? So far I've detected weird food and feet fetishes, the x-ray thing was a bit voyeur .. and now we're onto bestiality?!?! WOT THE FUDGE? I'm just gonna stop talking to you now .. thank you, good bye!

Whose IT?

So I found the whole Polar Circle thing quite interesting .. like how would you pray / break your fast in that situation?? :O my cousin doubts that there would be any Muslims in the polar circle area but than I remember reading that Norway falls inside the Polar Circle in some parts ... sooo without much further ado ...
*runs and grabs NiO*

TAG! You're it! :)

The Past
Saturday, August 13, 2011 | 3:30 pm | Comment ⇢
Everyone has one. Well .. to a certain extent.

I recently caught up with a friend who was telling me about an incident where she came face to face with her husband's ex. Talk about awkwarrrd. Now, me being my usual self, tried to pry without prying .. and I made a joke about how she must have unleashed her deadly nails (she has lovely nails mashAllah) on this chick and scratched her up, pulled her hair, etc. To which she replied that the chick's hijaab was in the way so she couldn't get a good hold lol.

Meeting your current partner's ex is always a bit awkward .. but this was slightly more intense (ish) so let me elaborate: this was not just any ex, it was someone her husband almost married. Well, she wasn't really an ex .. the husband is a very pious man Alhamdullilah and has never been in any sort of relationship. This chick was just a prospective .. but she was a very close prospective, and the brother had developed feelings for her while getting to know her. Someone he pictured his future with, directed his life movie with her in the lead, etc, etc.

So how does my friend know all this? You see, she's been good friends with her husband's younger sister for a while; family friends / best friends, etc. And while this whole prospective business was going down, she got bits and bobs from her friend (now sis-in-law) [OT but this is exactly why people need to keep shut about each other's business lol] who obviously did not even imagine my friend as a future prospective / bride for her brother [Allah's plan pwns]. Anyway, she didn't pay much attention to the chick, but when they had the faceoff (accidental encounter), all these thoughts rushed into her head.

My friend, the rational, logical, calm wife had turned into a quivering idiot. Okay, that was really harsh .. but lets just say she became opposite of who she really is. Oppo (lets call her that) knew that her husband loved her dearly, but she still couldn't stop all the irrationalities from eating her alive. She was a woman, a wife, a lover .. she was all those things, but she was hurt. A hurting woman, a hurting wife and a hurting lover.

This whole situation just made me think about people's pasts and how they play into people's futures. It wasn't in Hoppy's (Oppo's Hubby .. ahaha, aren't I creative?) nature to develop feelings for people; Oppo knew that Hoppy (gosh these names make this whole piece sound comical but this is actually a very serious issue that I'm tackling here so ..) met many prospectives, some moving further than others. But with the chick, after it had failed, he took a long long time to recover. He had to get over it, which suggests that there was something, something substantial that he struggled to get over.

As I mentioned starting off .. everyone has a past (or pasts) .. but not all the pasts have an equal effect on us. And the ones that DO have an effect on us, might end up affecting them (people we end up with) too. But I feel like its more of a problem being faced by women than men. Perhaps its because unlike women, men don't easily get attached so understandable, when they do get attached, its assumed to be a more serious matter. Perhaps its because men are arrogant confident in their abilities / self and think any man in the past would have his effects erased by this superman of the present? Or perhaps the past issue is something that has equal effects on all the parties involved?

I was thinking about all these match fixings (marriages, not cricket o.O) and wondered if my past (though its clean and clear and minor) would affect mister-bee (my future hubby) as much as his past would affect me :/ as fickle as I am (teehee), I'd dismiss my 'past'. On the other hand, I'd assume that guys don't get attached as easily / quickly so if mr-b did develop feelings for someone in his past, obviously I'd reach the conclusion that it must have been some serious feelings and tings, and get all worried.

What do you guys think? Man, it makes sense why Islam tells us to stay away from the opposite sex (whatever leads to haram is haram in itself).

When I think about my past I feel regret, shame, annoyance, a stab of loneliness. I wish I had a eraser for my past. Or a tub of paint to splash over it. Its not too bad Alhamdullilah, but its still there and I wish it wasn't. I guess the people most affected by pasts are the people who the pasts belong to. But I think that would bother me, not knowing how much mr-b's past has/is affecting him. Maybe its best to not know about possible pasts .. but than I'd go crazy wondering if he had one. Bleh .. so much complications :/

But even if I had avoided getting involved (ish) with my past, it can creep up on you. Take Hoppy for example, always stayed away from women .. but still got banged up by the past in terms of the chick. As always, everything happens for a reason I suppose. Without the past, I would have missed out on a lot of lessons learned.

I guess, in the end, you can only hope, and hope. And believe. Only the best for you will happen. Even if you conceive it to not be the best. We don't know, but Allah knows.

As for Oppo and Hoppy (lols), after the initial oppo-flip, she's back to her usual self (slowly but surely). She trusts him, trusts in his love. Trusts in Allah. And trusts that whatever pasts he had, can't be outweighed by the future of THEM. The future they can see in front of them, the future they are holding in their arms. The future she has grown for 9 months, and continues to raise .. for the last 14 months and into the distant future :)

Random Tidbit #2
Tuesday, August 09, 2011 | 11:55 pm | Comment ⇢
Once upon a time, way back before people started getting obsessed with all things vamp, there was a little girl who went back to her mother-land at the age of around 10 or so.

This was the time when Pokemon cards were on the rise, and this girl was the proud owner of several Pokemon decks, games and posters. She was a lone child and was used to entertaining herself.

One evening, her mother had gone off somewhere with someone, and the girl was enjoying herself while her father went around his business. She was just getting into the spirit of things, playing with her Erika Trainer deck when she was interrupted with the rude shrill of the door bell.

She ran towards the door, annoyed at whoever cut into her playtime and anxious to teach them a lesson or two. Her father opened the door and she was greeted by a old man, around her father's age and a little tubby boy a few years younger than her at around 7 years or so.

Like a cat on a hot tin roof, the girl got defensive and territorial and tried to contain her urge to urinate on these intruders (not really .. as in she didn't really want to urinate on them, but she felt pretty annoyed and territorial either way).

Some words were exchanged, much of it forgotten by the little girl today. However, like adults tended to do, the little girl was sent to her room with the even littler boy, expected to play and have fun together due to similar (?!?!) ages.

Now of course with it being the time where Pokemon was on the rise, the littler boy jumped at the little girl's posters and toys and cards and games, much to the annoyance of the little girl. The littler boy tried to dominate and emphasize his power since he was her guest and a boy, before trying to monopolize the control of the games, ignoring the little girl huffing and puffing on the side.

At some point, the men, misjudging the situation at hand as always, assumed that the kidlings were getting along just great and announced their departure to go to wherever old men went.

Little girl, already frustrated with the evening, had a spark of evil plan go off in her head, and she fabricated revenge while sweetly smiling at the older men and littler boy.

After the departure of the old men, little girl smiled dangerously at littler boy and demanded he give up the throne of games master that he wrongfully claimed, and that he go back to his place of insignificant observer while little girl continued to play her game.

Littler boy scoffed at his, fearless at the face of little girl, and continued to play, disregarding her threats.

Such arrogance! How dare he!

Little girl's idea of fun revenge turned sour with anger at littler boy's putting down her status. She sternly told him to give back her stuff, or that she would avenge him for his wrong doings.

Littler boy, slightly amused, was curious. But not yet scared. He challenged her without budging.

Little girl narrowed her eyes at littler boy, and in a cold whisper she conveyed her dark secret. She was a vampire, a creature of the night, and if littler boy did not obey her command, she would be forced to bite him, suck his blood and make him submit to her.

Littler boy, like other littler kids, did not take matters of the supernatural lightly. However he did not want to back down to little girl and lose his opportunity to play with the limited edition Erika Pokemon cards. He said that little girl had no proof and was bluffing, trying to hide his growing unease.

Little girl smiled evilly at littler boy, planning on using a trick she had learned from someone at some point. She said she will show mercy, and display her powers on her arm before moving on to littler boy.

She brought her arm to her mouth, and started sucking on the skin. She needed to bring blood to the surface, so that the area looked pink and bruised. She wanted to play with her cards, and she wanted to play fast, so she suckled her arm harder than she had ever before.

When she thought enough time had passed, she moved her arm from her mouth and while looking at the littler boy, she showed him her skills. Look here, I am hungry still. I think I'll have a bite of you, what do you think???

Littler boy's eyes popped out and he sprang up in fear, running outside little girl's room and locking himself inside the bathroom.

Little girl smiled at herself, her plan fulfilled. She flipped her arm around to clean up her spit and gasped. Along with the bruising, there was little bits of blood seeping out of little pores in her arm. Blood she had never seen come before.

Afraid of being all alone, and afraid that a vamp had actually possessed her, she ran to the toilet and banged on the door, urging littler boy to come out. She did not want to be alone in the big bad house, and littler boy did not want to come out to the big bad hungry vamp girl and there was a predicament. The banging continued while littler boy kept sobbing in fear inside the bathroom.

A lot of time had passed, or a little. The bleeding stopped but little girl was still afraid, while littler boy, also afraid, was locked up in the bathroom.

At some point, the adults came back, this time with her mother in the company. The little girl sighed in relief, while littler boy quickly ran to his father, not daring to say anything.

That night, little girl slept with her parents.

The End.

A gift .. for ME?
Monday, August 08, 2011 | 10:00 pm | Comment ⇢
Well well xD

Don't I feel special .. you see, I just got a lovely gift from Naseeruddin Shah :D a blog award! Yay :D my homegirl NiO got one too :D

You can read all about the nice things Nas said about me, which I haven't even paid him for, here.

Ah, so .. well THANK YOU :)

And I promise to keep up the bog entertainment (lols)

But other than him, I'd also like to thank YOU. Yeah, you. I'm talking to YOU ... right now. Okay, I'll stop with the creepy breaking of the forth wall .. a huge thank you to my lovely readers online :)

I've been blogging for a long time .. with distinctive constipationesque breaks where I don't post for a year :O but this has slowly changed (I hope!) to more regular thought dumping, and the reason is because of you guys. So really, thank you so so so much for taking the time and reading about my rants and triumphs :)

I check out every single one of your blogs and subscribe back :) it might not show up since I don't use Google Connect / Blog Follow .. but I promise you, I'm watching your every.single.word ;)

OT: sometimes you guys post something, and maybe later delete it .. or make it private or something .. but I can still read your posts on Google Reader o.O just thought you should know .. cos you know, me, I'm a harmless stalker .. but some people out there :O

Anyway as I was saying, getting feedback from people who don't know the whole story has been great :) and its also eye-opening to get a different perspective so thank you :)

YOU guys make the blogosphere a COMMUNITY. Keep it up, you guys rock :D

Its also been great checking out a bit (a whole lotta bit) of YOUR mind too .. and a lot of the changes that I've recently been striving to make, is all thanks to you. Your strength, determination, tribulations, happiness, etc, etc, etc .. well its humbling :)

And ... STOP. I'll stop with all the gushing and what not .. so now YOU can speak. My silent readers .. are you there???

Random Tidbit #1
Saturday, August 06, 2011 | 5:30 am | Comment ⇢
Once upon a time, there was a little girl whose parents decided to ruin her life by moving her from where she grew up, to a strange continent, a Third World. Where the people looked different, the weather was different, and the language was unknown.

Little girl, being a lone child, was not at all happy with the move and was treated as somewhat of a foreign anomaly, awed at but excluded from the other kids at the Third World school.

Anyway, at some point little girl decided to use her status as an advantage and tried to create a cult following for herself. She had learned that some fellow classmates were interested in the dark arts, and considering herself a bit of an expert thanks to The Craft, she led them to believe that she was a witch who had learned her crafts from the strange and magical land of Mexico.

Little girl would walk around in an emo / goth state, stare into nothing-ness as if nothing-ness is talking back at her, and stare into her palm, rubbing it with the finger of her other hand, making it out to be her own personal foresee crystal. She hinted at having black cats, connections in Mexico, and magical beads and spells.

She managed to get one or two followers who each came with their own chamchas .. it brought her a status of awe, and following. Exactly how she wanted. This fan movement went on for a long long long time. However in the end, exhausted with the task of proving herself, the little girl said that her MaMa Mexico gave her orders that prevented her from speaking of The Craft. If former mentioned fan movement were sincere in their believes and wants, surely The Craft will accept them and give them the gift also. But it required a lot of dedication.

Yes, the little girl had some attention seeking issues. But people were stupid and gullible, and so she had a right to make a fool out of fools. Little girl was lucky that the Third World did not have good reliable internet / electricity, nor people who would question her.

For legibility, the little girl also researched on magic spells, and tried to do a few. But most were lengthy and the little girl was lazy, wanted results ASAP and could not stay on the Third World internet for too long, since it engaged and created awkward noises on the dial-up telephone.

The End.

Because I'm a masochist.
Friday, August 05, 2011 | 3:53 pm | Comment ⇢
I love Asian street food. While Bangladesh does not have the variety available in India, I still love Bengali street food, and Indian street food. Mum always stops me over fears of diarrhoea, but I shove her aside (gently) and eat it anyway (secretly by induced coddling from my auntie) .. and let me tell you, the ring of fire is worth it every single time.

And my favourites? India may have pani puris (or gol guppas if you like) and bhel (which is really really nice) .. I personally prefer Bangladesh's take on them in terms of futchka (my TOP fave food in the world, I swear!) and chanachur. Yummy :) but some stuff that India has that Bangladesh doesn't .. things I love, such as nimbu ka paani (lemon water), one of the nicest most chilled and cheap drinks I've had, pav bhaji and papri chaat. Nomnom :)

But you know what I'm not liking? Pretentious betches who think they are too posh to go have street food in the streets. Yes, thats right. They have restaurants where they serve 'street' food. Bruv .. its not street food if its not from the streets! Pfft. Futchka in a restaurant? No thanks. It needs to be done in the streets.

That being said, because I suffer from migraines under the sun, when I went to Bangladesh a couple of years ago, I wasn't able to go out during the day. Now, chanachur walas are only out in the streets during the day, and while people got me some chanachur, it went all soft by the time they got it made and brought it up to the flat. So my beloved aunt got a chanachur wala from the streets, and made him come up to our flat to feed me fresh chanachur :D lols, his stand wouldn't fit on the lift so they made this guy carry it by hand all the way to the top by stairs. I think that was such a lovely gesture :D I'd rather have those little thoughtful things than expensive gifts :)

Unless they are expensive lenses. HELLO ;)

Killer Heels
| 3:45 pm | Comment ⇢

Shopwhoreholic - Aug '11
| 5:49 am | Comment ⇢
So I'm a bit of a shopwhoreholic .. don't get me wrong, I usually HATE shopping and can only handle it while on my own, and that too when I'm armed with my list of what I need / want and from where. I hate walking around, especially in crowds.

Online shopping and sales however .. are a entirely different matter. As the recurrence of ASOS on my bank-statement would tell you.

Anyway, I occasionally get lusts for certain products that I must must have .. and sometimes these lusts last for a while because the products in question are so awesome, range, or the simple fact that I'm kinda broke. Okay I'm not really broke, I'm such a bit of a cheap Asian sometimes .. and I do study economics at university so .. can't help it!

Anyhoo .. this month (and as has been since I've gotten a DSLR way back when) its this. Oh how I want them ... so so badly I want them. But they are darn expensive .. but calculating, I could have saved money from my recent splurge on 7 pairs of heels (yes really, but they are totally worth it!) and gotten some new lenses instead, because more than one is better than none o.O

Thing is, I end up spending this much on many different goods, but I guess it kinda stings when you spend this much in one go. Though to be honest, I did get them 8 pairs in like 2 days. Opps :O

So what lust-time are you whoring after at the moment?

Disqus Comments & Your Blogger ID
| 2:14 am | Comment ⇢
Hello all!

You can leave me a random message on my shout box to the left or comment on individual posts by clicking on leave comment.

You can comment on my shout box as normal with your name and a message. You also have the option of registering on the shout box, and if you've already registered, logging in and staying logged in. Registering will let you create a profile with your username, password and a link back to your site and will also let other users see if you are online :) you can also login using your Facebook.

To leave comments on individual posts, you need to use Disqus (my default post commenter). I know there was some annoyance over Disqus ahem ahem :P but being as ever generous and kind as I am to my FFs, I have decided to look for a solution to your problems, and I've found it!

You see, I've set my Disqus to allow you guys to Login in a variety of ways. Now some of you were stressing about not being able to sign in with your Blogger ID .. but actually this is possible, and you can set it to do this automatically. And its really really easy!

You do this with something called Open ID which is one of the login options for Disqus. With Open ID, you log in with your Blogger URL (thats it!) and it should post as your Blogger ID while redirecting people to your blog when they click on your name :) please click the link to find out more :)

Of course you will be able to log in as anyone you want using the different login options and you can also change your login if you've already logged in as someone else :)

Hope this solves issues of having to log in a gazillion times, or not being able to post as who you are :)

Open ID is also available across a variety of services and different blogging platforms, so make sure you check it out :D


PS - I've also allowed you to mention other users in your comments by @ing them .. if you so wish :)

lil-bee's GTT #1
| 1:52 am | Comment ⇢
Nope, not a glucose tolerance test but geek tips & tricks :)

Cos you know what I always say .. embrace your inner geek :)

Did you hear about Blogger in Draft? Its where you get to play with all the future Blogger goodies before they are released to the general public :)

Pretty nifty if you're into that kind of stuff (which you should be) .. so go click the link, check it out and let me know if you like :)

Whats that smell??
Thursday, August 04, 2011 | 11:42 pm | Comment ⇢
No really .. what is it? Where is it coming from?

Cue loud curious sniffing like a dog addicted to cocaine. Or something :/

Why do we do that? Where we smell something disgusting and we're all like OMG that smells horrible, here smell!

Awkward :P but I find that a lot of people do it .. or did it .. as kids .. and I never grew out of it :O

You know they have bacon perfume? No, seriously. You can buy it at some shops .. like this one. Errr .. so I guess I won't be putting THAT on my birthday (which is soon yay) wish list -.-

Know what I think? I think they should SERIOUSLY consider making bakery perfume. Because freshly baked anything smells SOOO good *dies in happiness* .. but have you noticed? The food doesn't taste NEARLY as good as it smells. Passing by M&S's bakery section is my kryptonite when I'm fasting. Oh wait, look what I found :D but meh .. doesn't seem likely to live up to M&S pfft.

Ah .. what DOES live up to expectations are the freshly baked pretzels from Mr Pretzel. Nomnomnom :)

Ah enough with the self-abusing food talk.

What I really stopped by to talk about is ... SUN CREAM!

Now, my more tanned readers might be shaking their heads thinking oh we don't need sun protection. But wait, you totally totally do!

You see, the sun is bare dangerous like, and even if you are already tanner than black, you still need sun cream for all the harmful UVA rays n dat. Seriously, even if you use a low SPF cream, don't skip this.

And while most suncreams smell kinda bleh (and they TOTALLY sting your eyes if you get it near them o.o), I found this AMAZING smelling (no really, I have a sensitive nose so trust me on that) sun cream from Piz Buin :D yeah okay its a bit more expensive than other creams out there, but its really good and smells divine. Well I don't know about their other products, but I got the Piz Buin Radiant Face Cream in SPF 30 and it smells fabulous :D

So if your looking for a good suncream that smells nice, I'd recommend Piz Buin .. and if you don't use suncream, GET TO IT. PB smells so good and feels so nice that you'd want to start using it asap if you don't :)

| 2:06 am | Comment ⇢
Nomnomnom. This TV show kept showing people making and eating Jilapies so I went and made some myself xD

Mmmm Jilapi .. I love you, you sexy unhealthy sweetness mmm.

Note - Jilapi is the Bengali word for the Asian sweet Jalebi. It is essentially patterned batter, fried in oil, before being dunked into a sugar syrup and taken out to become crispy sweet :D its amazing .. though I ended up frying mine in Iftar Fry Up let over oil .. so there is a slight spicy after taste. Opps. Oh well, pretty kick ass for first attempt. And means more Jilapi for me!!!

Are you dizzy blud?
Wednesday, August 03, 2011 | 2:47 pm | Comment ⇢

Shaiytaan's got some issues init. He for reals needs therapy or something ... mans dizzy :O I mean he has to be .. he knows what's coming to him, but he's still going around trying to cause havoc in the world. Whats the point man? Its not like if he succeeds in corrupting bare man(kind)s, Allah won't punish him?! And to actually challenge Allah. lolwut .. are you dum?! Clearly he's got Mr Lonely playing in his head, so he's going around getting people to sin so he isn't all alone in Hell.

Pfft loser.

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over
| 1:05 am | Comment ⇢
.. but it never is.

Lets stop waiting for tomorrow .. because tomorrow may never come.

Never stop fighting. Fight yourself, keep on fighting .. don't be static. We need to keep wanting to make ourselves better.

We are human. We aren't perfect. But we need to strive to achieve the closest state to perfection.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

I was at a state of despair, we are such sinners. NO ONE knows who will go to Heaven. Allah will question even the Prophets on the Day of Judgement so what chance do we have?

But crying in self-pity and fear isn't doing anything.


In the name of Allah, the most Gracious and the most Merciful.

We start everything with that. Yes, we need to fear Allah. But He is ever Merciful. So now is the perfect time to ask for forgiveness, repent, try to reform ourselves according to the Quran and inshAllah what we fear (Hell) won't come true :)

The fear is good. We need to use it to motivate ourselves for improvement. A scared sinner in repentance is better than the arrogant do-gooder who thinks entry to Heaven is guaranteed and does not seek to make himself a better Muslim and person.

Edit: I read somewhere that Muhammad (SAW) said that whoever reads Ayat ul-Qursi after each obligatory prayer, death is the only thing stopping him from entering Paradise. This one is relatively simple, so lets try and get this into our systems :D

Tuesday, August 02, 2011 | 5:26 am | Comment ⇢
Okay. We shouldn't have any worldly wants or desires.

But OMG. I.WANT.THIS. So bad.

To even things out
| 5:24 am | Comment ⇢
Yeah. Okay. Last post was morose. I still think we need to have that VERY real fear the last video instilled upon us, but we should also have hope, and instead of being petrified, we need to mobilize ourselves and aim to be the best Muslims that we can. That is the only way to avoid Allah's wrath.

Allah forgive us all
| 4:23 am | Comment ⇢
Watch this video about the Day of Judgement. Its intense.

InshAllah, may Allah have mercy on our souls and forgive our sins.

Thanks for this Kratz.

Monday, August 01, 2011 | 7:16 pm | Comment ⇢
OMG. My dad is suuuch a drama queen.

Just because I was busy and didn't say hi to him. Now he's going on and on about how I don't give him any importance and how it must be because he is dark and poor and fat and OMG.

Now he's on the phone, and he just called this person who called him earlier:

Drama Queen - Hello, oh you called me?

Person - well I can't hear that end, but I'm guessing she said no or it was a mistake call.

DQ - Ohhh at least you called me, even though it was a mistake. Its better than no one ever calling me.


My dad's side of the family are such HUGE drama queens. Exaggerating and making a big deal out of everything. So theatrical. Yes, so am I .. but can you blame me?! I get it from him.

And sheesh. What is up with men nowadays being such women?! Like .. why are you acting like a girl? Stop being such a whiney little needy bitch (obviously this is to men out there, and not my dad. Because he isn't bitching, he's just being a drama queen / needy). Anyway.

Seriously. Put your hand down your pant. I give you permission. No, I INSIST you put your hand down your pant, and try and locate your non-existent balls .. and BE A MAN.

Or ya know .. I could pass you some tampons for your mangina so you can stop the bleeding while you go get a pair. Or buy one. Whatevs.

Edit: I'm not really pissed off. Its a bit amusing, but yes my dad is a drama queen .. like many many many men out there. Also, this was a jokes post, but it has some serious undertones. Because you MEN .. need to go claim your masculinity. Ya hear??? And also, before you go on about how I'm a perv. EW. The last two paragraphs were meant for other men. Not my dad. Gross-shnizer.

Letting It Go
| 12:08 am | Comment ⇢
Happy happy happy Ramadan :)

My friend was asking me why I'm saying Ramadan Mubarak when its not exactly a happy occasion like Eid .. and I said its because Ramadan is a wonderful gift from Allah where we get the chance to redeem ourselves :D

Anyway, so I've been thinking about a lot of things, and examining myself as a human being. And wow, I suck. Like I'm a mahussive bitch. And yeah okay, it might be a human thing to do .. but our purpose in life is to strive to become better human beings and being a bitch (while it may be amusing / make sense because people kinda suck) is not part of that.

Of course I'm not saying I'll wake up and become a holy saint (if only!) but its a start right? I've got a friend (she isn't Muslim) and she's amazing mashAllah .. like she never thinks or talks bad about people. Even people who annoy her, she never ever ever talks about them. And I wish I can be like her.

Like okay, obviously if someone does something that pisses me off, etc .. I'll vent. But I feel like I don't need to involve them as people in it. Like I can be like what A did is bad, instead of thinking / saying that A is bad.

Anyway, lets not get into how I'm a bad person / Muslim (because I am still cocky extraordinaire ;P) and into the point of this post.

When asking forgiveness from Allah, I thought about all the bad things I've done / said / thought about other people and how it might have / would have hurt them. And than I thought about how arrogant it was of me, to hurt Allah's creation. Like, who do I think I am?!

And hurting others is very no no in Islam .. and so I've apologised to a lot of people. People I dislike / won't associate myself with .. but still I've apologised. And I truly do mean it. And I really hope that they accept my apologies .. because if they don't .. than I don't think I'll be able to redeem myself :(

Like I had a friend, and we don't talk anymore. And I feel like its her fault. And we've both said and done things that have hurt us. And even though I'd still rather not go back to being all chatty chatty, I do hope that she forgives me for hurting her. Even though okay, it wasn't really my fault to begin with, the point is .. I still did hurt it. Its not up to me to decide who does or doesn't deserve to be hurt. And no matter how much you 'hate' or dislike someone .. to hurt another human being, like .. I feel like its not the same as pissing someone off, or doing something to make them angry or annoyed. Hurt is more raw I think, more deep.

And even if she (and the others I've hurt, intentionally or otherwise) forgets about it in the long run, the point is .. I still hurt her soul at one point of her life. I've left that scratch mark there you see .. I don't know what I can do to erase the pain, than to say that I'm sorry. I don't know what I can do to make them forgive me .. like obviously you can't MAKE them forgive you for hurting them. And if they don't .. what will I say to Allah? :O

Gosh. This post was supposed to be small and sweet, and its ended up being mahussive :( and now I feel bad and in despair :O

Anyway. What I wanted to say was that its quite easy to ask for forgiveness, and to truly be sorry for what you've done. The harder part is to forgive people yourselves .. and to just let things go. Don't you think?

Anyone got tips on how to forgive people? o.O

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