Okay, I must be broken as a female, because I find it really fucking hard to express my feelings.

I don't know .. maybe its because I'm an Asian .. and we just don't say I love you to our parents o.O .. I don't think its a bad thing .. I mean, they already know I love them right? Why must I say it?

People throw around those three letters too much. They are kinda losing their meaning .. not just the word love, because I say it to my friends all the time (e.g.) :

'Your argument is gay and your face is moot. Love you!'

But, I don't know .. I guess those three words have been over hyped, and over used, or whatever.

But I've NEVER said I love you to my dad. I love him though, but I don't think I can physically make myself go up to him and be like Baba, I love you. I'm his daughter, of course I love him! If I didn't, than I'd tell him I hate him!

With my mum, I've said it once or twice. But it was the most awkward moment ever.

Anyway, so like, after Esha, or Fajr, I go into my parents room, and give them a hug or something while they sleep. Sometimes I squeeze them real hard, so they kind of get half awake, and so have knowledge about my affections.

Its just easier that way.

It really annoys my dad though. Like when he talks about feelings and stuff, I make a face at him and go 'OMG baba, you're SUCH a drama queen. Why are you being such a woman?!' and he's like .. why can't you feel? lolol.

My mum, I guess I'm like her, in that she's very reserved and quiet with her PDA. Like I remember when I was 14, or something .. and we'd be back in Bangladesh and I'd want to hug her, she's shove me away and be like how people are looking at us weird.

LOL BURN. I got rejected by my mum.

UPDATE: Actually, thinking about it .. I'm kind of like my dad too. Because whenever we have a big fight (and we used to have em ALL the time .. and still do, occasionally), we go on not-speaking terms. But apparently, my dad would come to me when I was asleep, and like pat my head and stuffs even though when we were both awake, we'd not talk to each other. I remember once, we had a HUGE fight, and one day, mid-love, I woke up, and when I realized what was happening, I grumpy snarled at him and told him to go away, and he was like fine, you kutta! :D Ah good times <3

*random flash back .. because I'm channeling Lost right now* I remember once, my uncle beat up my cousin because he broke the table. Actually, I broke the table, but no one was there when I broke it, so I kind of fled the scene and didn't own up to my crime. Anyhoo, so my cousin got beat up real bad (no blood or anything, don't worry) .. and than in the morning, when we woke up, we all went to eat food in the dining room. There on the cold steamy glass door to the verandah, there was a special message for my cousin: "I'm sorry O. From Baba". :D

Anyway. Wow, this post became kind of long. But its all good, my face mask is dry now :D (I'm SUCH a girl sometimes).

What I wanted to say was, since my dad has gone on a trip to Europe, my mum sleeps all alone, and makes weird cat noises in the middle of her sleep like she's having a nightmare or something. So I go to her and give her a bear hug and kiss her face. Cos I'm a dork like that. But its the only way I can show my emotions!

:)
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