lil-bee: the randomizer

Speaking of Awkward ..
Sunday, August 11, 2013 | 9:23 pm | Comment ⇢

Read the post below (somewhere) if you feel a bit confused. Remember the in-your-face thing? Well, more (predicted) rantage on that here:

My room, as I said, is my sacred sanctuary. In fact, there is a 'joke' whenever I leave my room where my family are all oh you've left, wow we got to see her, etc. because I'm always cooped up in here (I LOVE IT). Well anyhow, as much as I love my room, my desk is incredibly small and unusable (but it fits in perfectly with my room's decor and thats whats important) and so whenever I work at home, I always sit on the dining table on the ground floor (my room's on the third floor). SO obviously as I predicted, this wouldn't be possible in light of the recent in-your-faceness. And so I decided to stay in my room, my door firmly shut, and try and work on this useless desk. Well not real real work, but work for my work / site management, etc. By real work I mean dissertation work, obviously.

Anyhow so I was doing that and going about my business, when my aunt decides she wants to stare at my face again. This is another in-your-faceness thing with frAsians (fresh Asians) btw. They have this staring thing to LOVE to do and aren't afraid to show it. In fact, they do it blatantly as if its the most normal thing in the world. My aunt's always like let me look at your beautiful face & then literally just stares at it. All this kind of creeps me out. We've already established that I can't deal with direct compliments, but this is awkward and uncomfortable to a whole different level. It also pisses me off when they behave and make it out as if I'm the most beautiful thing they've EVER seen (no exaggeration, this is how they behave) and yet they've sent me a string of the most butters old-looking boys anyone has EVER seen. Okay I'm being harsh but I'm shallow so sue me -_____-

ANYWAY. So my doors firmly locked, I'm sitting at my desk and I've thrown my clothes all over the bed. All in an attempt to get some peace and do some work. Aunt meekly knocks on the door and I meekly reply with a 'yes'. Not a 'come in', but a 'YES?', do note. Then so pops her head in and says "oh are you working?" which is obviously a rhetorical question because thats pretty obvious. I decide to answer anyway in the hopes that she'd get the hint, but the only thing to does is to proceed to come behind me and then lie on the bed (which I thought I could prevent with my disgusting clothes lying about but obviously not) and she's still here. She's quite overweight (one of the other things that got me freaked out and kick-started my diabetes-regime) despite doctors telling her sternly to lose weight after her many operations and now she's so gone over, she has difficulty breathing even when lying down and I swear its the most scariest (and kind of annoying when you're trying to work) sounds ever.

This is the most awkward time ever. I'm just sitting here typing away while she's lying behind me breathing away. And I know the nice thing to do would be to turn around except I've spoken to her for extended periods of time the last few days, there isn't really much to chat up so it would be repeated conversation, and I'm working? I know how my sentimental melodramatic family works so I know she's feeling offended but I really don't give a shit. I know my family so if I started giving a shit, I'd be in the dumps FOREVER.

And now I'm annoyed because not only has my private space been contaminated, I've also come to realise that I won't be able to come home and have solitary time for the next month :'( I really don't like going to the library, its just too intense and I love working at home .. but this is no longer an option :(

She's STILL here. Calling people on her phone, bitching and saying "oh yeah MJ is working hard, doesn't have time for us" (yes really) and then handing me the phone and forcing me to speak to my never-ending-story-spinning melodramatic family. FFS. My family stretch a 2 minute conversation to a 15 minute one with ease, ALL THE TIME. I'm not even exaggerating. And everyone is so LOUD. My uncle is a bit of a bitch and complains all the time. And its just all too much. Given my recent issues to mental stability and calm.

Imagine the time she's been here, just breathing away. FEEL THE AWKWARDNESS. I'm a slow writer when I'm being distracted by an awkward blob of loud breathing. So this post took me that long to write. JUST IMAGINE. I can't even get up to pray because she's just waiting for me to turn around before she can pounce on me. I hate being so loved / wanted.

Yes I'm being a bitch. But this is allowed.

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