lil-bee: the randomizer

Sunday, January 13, 2013 | 8:32 pm | Comment ⇢

My migraine medication (propranolol) is seriously messing me up with its side effects. Sure, I haven’t had more than one or two migraines since starting but I’ve recently felt really shit and almost feel like the migraines were better than feeling like this. While the tiredness and the fatigue does get in the way of being productive at work and school, it’s the changes in mood that I just don’t want to deal with. I’ve always been happy (not because of specific things, just for being I suppose) so these feelings of despair and depression are really freaking me out :( I really feel for people suffering from depression (and other mental diseases) because man does it suck being stuck at feeling shit.

I’ve made an appointment with my GP but I can either go with another beta-blocker or anti-epileptic medicine (or antidepressants but I am totally not going on them just for bloody headaches) and they all have side effects of depression, fatigue, insomnia, BLAH BLAH .. so like, what if they ALL make me sick? I’m leaning towards topiramate since it doesn’t change your heart rate but it does effect the electrical signals in your brain and can make you like suicidal, uber aggressive, anxious (like I need MORE anxiety) as well as depressed … oh, and it can also make you blind. Basically, I’m kind of fucked.

Being at university just totally doesn’t help the situation either. Its just so stressful, theres too much work, and the actual work itself can be quite depressing :/ I had to read this article (among others) about the new precariat class and while I felt like Standing was almost on an extreme negative rant, living in the current era of precarity, I kind of feel like it’s a bit true as well. Which really really sucks. I mean, whats the point then?! 

Update: I think I was more down than usual because of the papers I had to present. Our class (minus the kind of intense / mean tutor) went for drinks afterwards and while I was drowning my sorrow (with tea) they were all saying how its not just me and that was one of the more shittier weeks. Also, I completely misinterpreted the essay question but thankfully presentations aren't graded so suck on that precariats ..!.. [the Standing article, compared to the others, was just really really REALLY depressing. There was a section on anomie that reminded me of Durkheim and I was like I'm reading about it whilst wanting to commit it myself -___- ]

Post a Comment

old | new