lil-bee: the randomizer

A non update related random post!
Sunday, April 12, 2009 | 8:54 pm | Comment ⇢
So I was clearing out my cupboard (finally got around to it, and now the other one is messy!) and found all these random scraps of paper that I doodled in and wrote about random stuff on instead of taking notes (oh the joys of learning). Now I should have thrown these away ages ago (they date back to secondary school in 2004/5 to sixth form retakes in 2007/8) but as I read through them, they brought a smile to my face. Its because they each mean something, and so before recycling them off to the green heavens, I've decided to post them up here for your viewing pleasures (be warned though, they are non-sensical and generally shit!)

Starting off with the oldest one, a poem I inevitably wrote during my GCSE English class, its in the form of a spare piece of paper, a note to my then best friend, Nicole.W.

Untitled Poem

He looks into the sky
blueish purple, trees surround
greenish yellow, brownish bark,
grasses grow short but sharp.
The brown of the tree,
the browns of her eyes.
Ocean blue, he meets her eyes
hatred flowing, she comes to him.
Roses red near his heart,
a drop of tear from her heart.
He stops, he stares,
he looks but yet,
there she is in glowing dark
love and sorrow in her heart,
he opens his mouth
whispers spread:
"I love you dearly,
we were to be wed",
now he is dead.

As far as I can remember from reading the poem, its from the guy's point of view, its his funeral and he can see and feel around him. His bride to be hates him for leaving her, hates that she loves him so and then I added the last bit, well it helps make everything make sense. Its a pretty straight forward poem but hey its still pretty cool (given my age)!

Next on line is an unfinished random story I wrote during my Economics lessons at W.C during Mr R's (boring as usual) lessons. Or maybe it was Mrs M? Oh who cares, they both sucked and so me writing random stuff to keep myself awake was inevitable!

Untitled and unfinished story

They kept banging on my door, my roof, windows ... everywhere. They would come in and murder me, take over.

"Go away! Leave me alone!", I screamed. Bloodshot eyes, shivering, scared ... and hurting.

Jason held onto me so tight ... so tight. "Its okay, its going to go away, its only rain, it will stop".

I loved Jason, now only he believed. Now only he remained. Let me tell you my story, our story.


"Gosh! Wake up already", nagged Ali, pushing me awake. She could be so annoying sometimes.

"Alison girl, whats up? Its not even morning yet" I moaned as I looked out the window. It was still really dark. Here in Corona, mornings were never really dark, dawn was at 5 to half past.

"Hurry, get ready quick, just put something one ... there are some people waiting outside".

I looked up at Alison and was more shocked at what she wore rather than what she just said. In the eight years that I've known Al, I've never seen her look so hot or slutty. There she stood, long and tall at 5'7, her long blonde hair nicely straightened, the purple highlights glistening in the overhead light. She was wearing a extremely short denim mini, its maximum length 10 inches? Her top was a hot pink vest on top of a black vest, her knee length boots on her legs, the ones I jokingly labelled as whore boots. Something was up.

"Ali, you look like a baby prostitute! Its frigging 3 in the morning, just what in the hell are you playing at?"

She just smirked at me, like what I said was exactly what she wanted to hear. She stood there like she was planning on getting out of detention, smiling with an anarchist satisfaction on her pretty face. She blew me a kiss and throwing me the clothes she picked out, winked at me and went downstairs.

I pushed aside her vest and skirt combo, picking up some shorts and my black hoodie, assuming it would be cool this late at night. I almost went downstairs looking like a zombie but thought better of it when Ali's model face flashed into my head; deciding on some quick eye liner, mascara and lipgloss.

I was greeting by mostly familiar faces downstairs, faces I couldn't recognize at all. My eyes were pulled towards a group of dodgy looking gruffily dressed boys, older than everyone else most definitely, hypnotizing.

We followed the boys outside and got into the various cars, too stunned and naive to ask where we were headed, everyone expecting someone else to know what was going on. We finally sped up, off to God knows where.


Well It must have been end of lesson or something, don't even know where I was heading with the story! Something on the lines of paranoia, death of people I love, me blaming the rowdy boys (lol) and then finally finding out it was all my doing, as lover boy Jason lies dying on my arms. Nice love comedy then! Haha

And finally, some ramblings about JB that I made during 2008, dreams that I had at night!

JB Dreams 1

We were having an unknown lesson in an unknown area of spectacularity...outer space and we had neither walls or ceilings. Under a dark star filled sky and over a tilled classroom floor. The teacher was anonymous, everything was a blur and the focus only on you and me, me and you (that is the same f'cking thing?!?!). We had double tables yet they were singular like the ones at Scho******* and we were very very close. You were brightening my day (or night since you don't get stars during day time) and making me smile as you do. You were whispering sweet nothings into my ear and there were musical instruments all around. You were touching me with your velvet hands (not in a sexual context as far as I can remember!), giving me a massage and kissing me with your soft full lips (why yes I was in fact dreaming of a BOY in case your getting confused / excited?). I rested my head on your shoulders and its so peaceful and at rest. Rejection and anxiety ran through me and I jerked awake, destroying everything in my wake.


Lame or what? Hahahaha, can still remember weird retro space classroom and running around and what not!

And for the next installment -

JB Dreams 2

Class trip to the jungles of Galapagos Islands. A lot of blood sucking insects in the itinerary. Open windowed coach, a ride I can't much remember. Your presence I feel, my heart beats race, patience and wait is something I have lacked always. Fast track to our love boat (REALLY!?!? I don't remember my dreams being SO cheeky! This is what boredom does to me!), how are we always singled out and secularized from everyone else (really this is a feat since J.M's head is constantly attached to J.B or erm since I'm using initials, N.N's shoulder as a second like one of them Hindu Gods!)? I'm not complaining indefinitely (what does that even mean dude?). I don't hear, I don't see (wow disability causing specimen alert), only you exist among nothingness. Where do I end, where do you being - is this the ultimate one-ness they talk of (GOD, don't start)? I have melted into you, hold me, hold me. Jump through points, camping out in beds, a situation of Kala***** pre-modernization. Why is she here (Dr Stats), will I allow the moment to be destroyed? Why are you here with her (ewww non-MILF!!)? Blood suckers help me, I can't be on the edge, I need the safety of barriers around me. Dr Grey and McDreamy cuddles, footie baby =) (yes I actually did draw that smiley face on my paper) I don't jump to destruction now.

WOW, personal comments all the way through during narration ... I don't think there is much need for me to say anything ... except that the last line was the least cringing line ever. Surely I wrote that in sarcasm? SURELY?!?!?

And thats it for today =)

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