lil-bee: the randomizer

Self Restraint contradicts Hedonism
Tuesday, February 21, 2012 | 2:38 am | Comment ⇢
And as I label myself as a sort of hedonist, the whole self restraining thing would've never worked out dahhhling.

Words are bouncing around my head, and I feel a bit like mental if I don't use what space is rightfully mine and letting it out least they keep using my brain as a sound board and end up making me deaf or something.

I guess for a while I've been a bit (or trying to be anyway) restraining of things non-academic because I felt bad for not doing my work. But this, unsurprisingly, ended up with me not doing any academic work, or (to an extent) random procrastinating-from-work-but-otherwise-useful-shit kinda work. Lose-lose situation ya'know?

So I think I should just use and abuse like I'm supposed to and just shit it out. Constipation is like really bad for you dudes. Okay, I reaaaaally need to stop with the fascination with the bowels, I'm told its verrry unlady like. Gah, I don't know .. I'm chatting crap ... opps, its really hard you see?!?!

I have a feeling this will end up being one of those elephantine posts except there won't be much update-esque content and ya'll can sit and amuse yourselves with my pain and suffering while I use the whole not-talking-back blog as a therapist .. because REALLY, they don't say anything anyway (which is SO frustrating .. I mean wth, if I'm paying you, I want YOU to solve my problems, not ask me how I feel about it worded a gazillion different ways to mean the same shit anyway .. ultimately to force myself to fix myself which if I wanted to do, I'd do anyway instead of coming to you with money while you sit back doing jack shit .........) // yeah you get my drift. Or not. It doesn't matter really, since I'd rather get this shit out of my head and just leave me alone. Isn't that what therapy is about anyway? Talking out loud to yourself (really, thats what it really really is .. don't try and glorify it) so some mental measurer can say you aren't insane for talking to yourself .. what?


I'm in one of those places. Moods. Whatever.

Here is whats going to happen. I will hopefully at some point to go do my work (which is a shit load of essays, readings, revision, etc time wastery thanks to all ye bladdy feminists who think its not worthy to sit back with my legs apart, letting in & pushing out, with occasional cooking & cleaning when not otherwise pre-occupied [see above]) ... wayhay, I love brackets today.

Anyway, so yeah .. mid-work, which I seem to not be able to do anyway, I will need a break. And I think its best to use said break (which ends up being longer than work time) to just write whatever blahdeblehbloh here. But since its 2 somethingsomethingOMGitsalmost3 am, I'm going to do this later, but soon .. well if I go to work soon anyway. Or no .. SOOON.

Till then, I pray for my insanity level to be at some sustainable level.

And while you wait for some amusement or whatnots, listen to the other variation. Its like two sides but kinda feels like the same side after being scratched up a bit in time. Which really is what happened here anyway. So you should, once the post is done, for the general mood and what not, play the first one while you read the post, and by the time you're done, play the second song for general summary of feelings from said post content via song.

Or thats what should happen anyway.

PS - The whole sides thing and the song magically came to me while watching the Pilot ep of this new series called Grimm. Go search for it on the Google website [because saying Google It makes no kind of sense].

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